I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
