Jerry, you need to find god
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
