i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
