I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
