I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
