dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
