Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
