no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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