The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
