She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
