Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
