ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Can you bring me the toilet please
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
