It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
