Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
