Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
