I'm lost and stupid without you.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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