I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
