He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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