just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
