Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
