do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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