well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
