You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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