No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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