Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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