Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
