sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
