spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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