Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
