I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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