Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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