i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
