I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
