I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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