So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
