its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My balls are so social today.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
