then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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