Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
