Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
