garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
