you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
