i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do vagina's smell?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
