Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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