it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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