I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
