tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She made me pour olive oil on her.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
