eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
