Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i out mim tonsoeep
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