I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
