Banned from zoo.
Again?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i think my cat just said my name.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
