I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
