Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.