He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.