There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.