There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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