your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
