Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
