Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize