Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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