I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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