I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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