your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
