Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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