This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I need moral support for this bender
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Randomize
