Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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