you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
