Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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