Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
